Overcoming perfectionism
A go-to answer for the common interview question “What do you believe your strengths and weaknesses are?” is often “The tendency to be a perfectionist,” assuming it has a positive connotation as a prospective employee. When we picture perfectionism, a stereotypical “Type A” person comes to mind– structured, organized, and always put together. However, what if I told you most people are actually held back by their own quest for perfection?
As socialized beings, we are psychologically wired to seek acceptance. This desire to fit in simultaneously translates into a fear of rejection and disapproval. Therefore, you don’t need to identify as a typical “Type A” personality for perfectionism to prevent you from living the life you want to live. Perfectionists come in all shapes and sizes: disorganized, unmotivated, lazy, shy, and so on.
The snowball effect of the unrealistic expectations we put on ourselves can be harmful to our health and happiness, leading to…
Procrastinating - the fear of not being able to do a task perfectly leads you to put it off as long as you can.
Avoiding commitment - not committing means not having to deal with a less than perfect attempt.
Trouble in relationships - you may have a hard time being authentic, vulnerable, and present. Expecting perfection from yourself means you’ll likely expect it from other people, leading them to feel judged.
General unhappiness - fueled by insecurity and weakened self esteem, holding you back from flourishing.
We can be our own greatest enemy, but it doesn’t have to be that way. So much freedom lies within relinquishing the need to be perfect and welcoming the “just good enough.” So, feel the sense of discomfort and do it anyway. That voice within can be quieted by unconditional self acceptance! Living in the glow of authenticity and courage unlocks a level of unknown happiness, courage, and capability.
Here are 4 things you can do today to overcome perfectionism in your health journey (and life):
Give yourself a specific time frame to do something - what you get done is what you get done within that time and you’re that much closer to your overarching goal than you were before you started, no matter the short-term outcome!
Break things into bite size pieces - you do not need to know or do everything before you start. So pick one place where you feel confident and start there, inch by inch!
Be honest about where you are at to set realistic expectations - this plays into our own psychology because when we set ourselves up for little wins instead of big losses, we strengthen our intrinsic motivation to keep going instead of increasing our fear of being unsuccessful (creating further avoidance/resistance from the start).
See the places in your life you are trying to control and loosen your grip - utilizing spirituality and gratitude strengthen trust in the process. Letting go of attachment to outcome fosters optimism and resilience when things don’t go as planned.
Seeking perfection can make health daunting. Whether you are new to the world of wellness or a “health freak,” the fear of not knowing “enough” or doing it “right” can weaken your confidence when embarking on a wellness journey. More in part two next week - how embracing a healthy lifestyle can be perfectly imperfect.
